I Am A Griever

Mourning a Man I Never Knew

This spring, I turned fifty-four. I have now outlived the father I never knew: my biological father. It’s been almost twenty-three years since we spoke; eighteen years since I learned of his death. I’m still dealing with the strange grief of his loss.

Nicole – Using Art and Creativity to Express Grief

Nicole discusses the work she does to allow access to creative outlets such as art hives and gardening.

John – Lasagna

John talks about the “widower’s meal”… Lasagna, and learning how to cook for his daughters after his wife died

Nicole – Grieving as a community

Nicole discusses the power of grieving together as a community. Finding connection and trust.

Adam – Crying and singing

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Adam talks about how crying and singing helps him cope even at the cemetary

A Million Other Things: Grieving a Drug Poisoning Death

Sister, father, son, niece, best friend – some of these words might be how you would describe your loved one who has died of an overdose or drug poisoning. People Who Use Drugs (PWUD) are not defined by their substance use – they are a million other things to those who love and miss them dearly. Drug poisoning and overdose deaths are stigmatized in our society. The focus is on how the person died, not who they are. Society still holds onto old notions and beliefs about drugs which come with a value judgment about people who use drugs, which further contributes to stigma. Not everyone who uses drugs is an addict and not all drug use is inherently problematic. People who use drugs deserve dignity and respect when we are remembering and honouring those who have died by overdose or drug poisoning.

Jim – Triggers

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Jim discusses triggers, how to recognize them and develop coping mechanisms to help deal with the strong emotions that they can cause

Scott – Writing music

Scott talks about the cathartic nature of writing music stories

Jim – Police culture and grief

Jim talks about how grief is a natural part of life, but it can be especially difficult to deal with when you’re in the police culture. There’s a lot of pressure to bottle up your emotions and not show weakness, but that’s not healthy. It’s important to find healthy ways to cope with your grief, whether it’s talking to a therapist, joining a support group, or simply spending time with loved ones. You’re not alone, and there are people who care about you and want to help.

Nicole – Power of Speaking About Lost Ones

Nicole discusses the importance of sharing memories of those lost to drug poisoning and speaking their names.

Scott – Music that can transport you somewhere else

Scott explains his thoughts about the emotional connection of music and how it can transport you

Keeping Records

I pulled the photos out of their envelope one at a time, turning over each one to carefully record the date, place, and people in the photo. Sometimes, I included comments. “Apple picking in Hamilton with Pop Pop, Fall, 2023. You loved the wagon ride!”. I slipped each picture into an empty pocket in my son’s photo album.