I Am A Griever

Betsy – Mother’s day

Betsy shares her challenges around mother’s day when her adopted son died

Birthdays, Anniversaries, and Other Special Days

When we are grieving, some days are more difficult than others. Grief comes in waves like the sea and can feel like an intertwining labyrinth of emotions. Birthdays, anniversaries, and special dates that are associated with our loved one who has died can contribute to more emotionally intense days which can be worsened through the anticipation and “what ifs” of the upcoming day. These difficult days can leave us feeling defeated and it can almost feel like we’ve taken two steps backward in our grieving process, but grief does not have a timeline, and these feelings of setbacks are opportunities for healing.

Jim – Preparation

Jim shares here is no way to truly prepare for the experiences that you will see as a police officer. You can read about it, talk to veteran officers, and even watch videos, but until you are personally involved in something, you will never know how it will affect you. The best way to deal with the challenges of being a police officer is to expect the unexpected and to be prepared to handle anything that comes your way. Remember, you are not alone. There are many resources available to help you cope with the stress of the job, and there are many other officers who understand what you are going through. If you are considering a career in law enforcement, be sure to do your research and talk to as many people as you can before you make your decision

What Can Help with Early Traumatic Grief?

When your child dies you are thrown into a nightmare. None of this is expected to be easy.
Even after several months, it still isn’t. There have been some things that have helped us during
our grief. Maybe they will help you, too.

Reflections on Mother’s Day

Mother’s day is a holiday where we show appreciation and care for the maternal roles in our lives. However, this holiday can feel very overwhelming for those of us who are grieving the death of a mother figure, a mother grieving their child, or those of us grieving the loss of not being able to become mothers ourselves.

Jim – Supporting someone in crisis

Jim talks about supporting someone in crisis and how being there for them can help. That may mean answering the phone at 2am, taking them to the doctor’s appointment, and checking tup on them. It’s not easy, but it’s the right thing to do. He was fortunate to have a friend who did this for him, and is still grateful for their support. If you know someone who is struggling, don’t be afraid to step up. It could make all the difference.

Jim – Police culture and grief

Jim talks about how grief is a natural part of life, but it can be especially difficult to deal with when you’re in the police culture. There’s a lot of pressure to bottle up your emotions and not show weakness, but that’s not healthy. It’s important to find healthy ways to cope with your grief, whether it’s talking to a therapist, joining a support group, or simply spending time with loved ones. You’re not alone, and there are people who care about you and want to help.

Angie – Cumulative grief, cumulative trauma

Angie discusses the challenges of policing and how trauma and grief can accumulate

Jessica M – The value of talking about grief

Jessica talks about living in North America and the fear many people have about talking about grief but that it is very important to talk. It makes us feel less alone and helps us move through our grief. It’s also how you can keep your lost one alive.

Grief & Ice Cream

When my wife of 18 years died in 2016, I became a single father missing the love of my life, and also had to learn how to raise two girls (13-17 at the time) on my own. I remember a conversation I had with my mother-in-law and oldest daughter that began as reminiscing over a person who became a lost love to all of us. We all talked about different aspects of my wife but shortly, it transformed into a “who meant more to her” fest.

Caileigh – Recommendations as a therapist and a griever

Caileigh discussed two recommendations for parents on how to support their child’s grief. as a therapist and a griever. The first is to recognize that being with is far more important than fixing. There’s two pieces to connection. The first being that one of the most important healing aspects to grief is feeling connected to others.

Scott – Writing music

Scott talks about the cathartic nature of writing music stories