Blog Post

Healing Through the Holidays

The holidays can be hard if you’ve lost a loved one. But the holidays can also be a time to honour your loved one and heal. Here are a handful of things that may help you move through grief, and even find some joy, during the holiday season.

Creative Outlets for Grief

Post by Maureen Pollard, MSW, RSW Creative Outlets for Grief In the depth of raw, deep grief it can be hard to find words to express your feelings. Perhaps you are not much of a talker, anyway. Maybe this terrible tragedy has left you speechless. There may be no words for the terrible experience you find yourself…

Grief and Secondary Loss

Post by Maureen Pollard, MSW, RSW Grief and Secondary Loss Secondary losses are those that often accompany the death of a loved one and may go unacknowledged beside the more recognized experience of that primary loss. Secondary loss includes such things as role, family structure, support systems, identity, faith, purpose and security. These connections are related to…

Grief Literacy and Developmental Disability

Grief literacy has become a popular topic, yet it is a topic that is untapped within the disability community, specifically within the developmental sector. The sector supports and empowers people with a developmental disability and consists of families, their loved ones and service providers.

Helping Others Help You Through Grief

Post by Maureen Pollard, MSW, RSW When you’ve experienced the death of a loved one, one of the most difficult things you will go through is trying to find out what helps you adjust to the loss. This can be compounded when others around you don’t understand what you’re going through, and don’t know how…

Finding Joy During the Holidays After Loss When Everything Feels Awful: A message of hope.

My mother died in the middle of the night on January 1, four days before I turned sixteen. I don’t remember much about Christmas the couple weeks before she died, just that we spent a lot of that season in the ICU of the hospital where my mother had birthed my brother and I. For…

Beauty found at the edges: a portrait of community support

I’d sent a text saying “Hello friends, I’m putting out a call for flowers. I went to public school with Kory, the young man who died in downtown Cobourg this week, and though I hadn’t seen him in recent years, I feel the loss of him on a community level, as I imagine you do, too. Some of Kory’s people are gathering tonight in vigil at the bank where he died, and I’m gathering flowers from those of us who have gardens to share with this grieving community. Do you have some blooms in your garden that you’d be willing to share?”

The Unique Wounds of Ambiguous Loss

Post by Maureen Pollard, MSW, RSW The Unique Wounds of Ambiguous Loss Ambiguous loss, as it relates to death, happens in two ways. A loved one may be physically absent, missing and potentially dead, but without definite evidence to confirm a death. A loved one may be mentally absent due to conditions like dementia or other circumstances…

Alongside

That is also our best, and only role, when supporting a person with a developmental disability to grieve. We must be the one that comes alongside. There is no closer place we can get to. We must be present, be with, perhaps not understanding or comprehending what the person we support is experiencing, but alongside them nonetheless. We must be there, ready to provide whatever we can discover of their unique need in grief.

Things That Helped When My Dog Was Dying

I lived with a dog named Althea, who belonged to my roommate, during my undergrad. Every year, my partner, our roommate, and I would go to a summer solstice festival. The year Althea was pregnant, my roommate brought her to the festival. The first night there, he retired to his tent to nap in preparation…

When Death Feels like a Thief

In the heart of my grief, at my frailest, all I could see was what was no more. I grieved all that was stolen from me by death; love, security and even my very self. Had I known the value of having every pocket of who I was, picked bare by grief, I would not have fought so hard to hold onto it all.

Disenfranchised Grief – When It Feels Like Your Grief Doesn’t Matter

Post by Maureen Pollard, MSW, RSW Disenfranchised Grief – When It Feels Like Your Grief Doesn’t Matter Grief that is acknowledged, validated and supported is grief that has access to pathways for healing. There are some losses that don’t receive this attention and respect. Disenfranchised grief is the name for what we experience when a loss is…