Blog Post
Shadowloss: loss in life
Shadowloss is a term developed by Cole Imperi, a thanatologist and the founder of The American School of Thanatology. It describes the types of loss we feel in life, rather than the loss of life. Shadowlosses are things like divorce or the end of a long-term relationship, infertility, a medical diagnosis, losing a job, or the loss of some other relationship or thing. It’s a loss that impacts the life of an individual, as well as their social network in their life.
Ways to Mourn During the Pandemic
Post by Maureen Pollard, MSW, RSW Ways to Mourn During the Pandemic The restrictions related to the global pandemic are intended to slow the spread of covid-19. Physical distancing, the declaration of a state of emergency and rules to prevent gathering in groups also impacts our usual ways of coming together in bereavement. It is customary for…
Creating Mother’s Day Traditions as a member of the Dead Mom Club
About a week after Easter this year, I noticed I was starting to feel off. My sleep wasn’t as restful, experiencing tension in my body, at times I was getting irritated with the simplest things. Then while streaming an episode of television, 4 ads back to back all talking about Mother’s Day. Then came the…
Grief is Not the Enemy
Mary E. Schulz is a Social Worker and writer who loves dogs, opera and stories that take her breath away. When I was younger, before anyone close to me had died, I thought that grief was something to be beaten. Conquered. Overcome. That grief is the enemy. I would hear people say things like, “She…
Disenfranchised Grief – When It Feels Like Your Grief Doesn’t Matter
Post by Maureen Pollard, MSW, RSW Disenfranchised Grief – When It Feels Like Your Grief Doesn’t Matter Grief that is acknowledged, validated and supported is grief that has access to pathways for healing. There are some losses that don’t receive this attention and respect. Disenfranchised grief is the name for what we experience when a loss is…
Gratitude and Grief
Mary E. Schulz is a Social Worker and writer who loves dogs, opera and stories that take her breath away. I call them “ambushes”. I am going about my day – tidying up the living room, doing some cooking or driving the car, and all of a sudden, out of nowhere, I am brought to…
Care and Well-Being for Grievers and Their Supporters
Post by Maureen Pollard, MSW, RSW Care and Well-Being for Grievers and Their Supporters Grief can be all consuming. It can monopolize our attention and drain our energy. When we are grieving, we can forget to tend to our well-being. This is also true when we are supporting someone who is experiencing raw, deep or complex grief.…
Who are we to Decide? The Many Paths through Grief
A lot of my work with clients involves hearing their stories, but also answering many questions about if their grief is “normal”. Their grief is overwhelming, and our dominant culture’s strong message is – that grief should be kept at its edges, I often find this pervasive intention creeps into griever’s experiences – and my…
A Million Other Things: Grieving a Drug Poisoning Death
Sister, father, son, niece, best friend – some of these words might be how you would describe your loved one who has died of an overdose or drug poisoning. People Who Use Drugs (PWUD) are not defined by their substance use – they are a million other things to those who love and miss them dearly. Drug poisoning and overdose deaths are stigmatized in our society. The focus is on how the person died, not who they are. Society still holds onto old notions and beliefs about drugs which come with a value judgment about people who use drugs, which further contributes to stigma. Not everyone who uses drugs is an addict and not all drug use is inherently problematic. People who use drugs deserve dignity and respect when we are remembering and honouring those who have died by overdose or drug poisoning.